Please don't go
by kmmi95
Summary: When Gwen, Morgana and Arthur here about Merlin's decision to give his life to save his mother, they decide that they would do anything to stop the dark-haired boy from going. But will they Succeed? Set in series 1 at the last episode
1. Chapter 1

Gwen walked carefully around the side of the castle, her cloak flapping behind her in the wind and her red dress lightly trailing the ground, the Lady Morgana had left for a short time to visit the lower bounds of the city, outside of the castle walls, and Gwen had completed her chores and so decided that she would make a bouquet of flowers for her mistress and her friend. With the basket under her arm she headed slightly into the woods, she had not planned to go far in, but she felt a strange feeling that she needed to venture farther for something, her father had always told her to follow her feelings and so she went slightly further in and she came across a clearing. It was beautiful, a lake just out in the distance and sat on the fallen tree trunk inside the clearing was the back of a young dark haired boy that she recognised at once. Merlin. Again she had a feeling that she was to stay hidden so she kept into the trees but moved round so she could see him from the front. What she saw shocked her slightly, there were droplets of water escaping from Merlin's eyes and dripping down his pale face; his hands were shaking as they were clasped tightly together and resting on top of his legs. Gwen had never seen Merlin like this; she was worried for the boy and wondered what was troubling him so. She was answered by Merlin himself however as the boy started to voice his thoughts out loud, a thing that he had always done to help himself think.

Merlin had gone out into the woods soon after helping to get his mother comfortable, he had simply sunk down on the log and away from the prying eyes of the castle staff and his friends he cried. He cried for the near death of Arthur, for the near death of his mother and the death he was contemplating for himself. When he was leaving to sacrifice himself for Arthur he did not feel this way, he knew that it was his destiny to protect the future king and the man he saw as a friend and so he had thought that this was the plan mapped out for him; for him to die at the hands of the old religion bringing back his prince, he felt that the path had been set and there was no way to escape it. Now however he knew that it was not his destiny that meant that he had to die, it was his choice, and the idea that he was so up for killing himself to save another both made him proud and so very scared. He started to talk about his thoughts aloud.  
>"I have to do it, she is my mother, and if I was ready to die at the hands of magic for Arthur then I should be obligated to do it for my mother." <p>

Gwen, who was still hiding behind a tree, making sure she was in shadows so Merlin could not see her, brought her hand up to her mouth to stifle her gasp. She had wondered how the prince had made a recovery after Gaius, only the day before the Prince's recovery, had told her that the prince was almost certain to die as there was no cure for the bite of a Questing Beast. Just taking pleasure in seeing her mistress happy again and seeing the prince alive and well had meant it was worth whatever cost had been paid but Gwen had known something was up. She never suspected however that pure-hearted Merlin had brought back the proud, obnoxious prince by trying to give his own life. She had read, after sitting in Gaius study once waiting for the physician to return, that the old religion had a way of bring the dead back to life but for this to occur a life must be given in return to keep the balance of the universe, she understood now. Merlin had gone to give his life for Arthur but it appeared the sorcerer in question thought it better to taken Merlin's mother's life in repayment for Arthur's life and so that is how the woman got so gravely ill so very fast.

"Well, I was not needed anyway; I was not liked, loved nor needed. They will not probably bother looking for me when I vanish. But first I need to think of a story as to where I have gone, as I cannot put Gaius's life in danger by people finding out. I cannot say that I have gone back to my village to visit my mother as she is not there but inside Camelot. Ah, I shall fabricate a page within one of Gaius's many books, leaving a note explaining what I have done and that the page holds false information, the page mentioning the illness and listing only one cure that is in a cave and that I must bargain with and old unicorn or something as such but that it is very dangerous. If I left on this imaginary quest then I could save my mother and it would just be assumed that I had died on the journey back to Camelot, I am believed so stupid by everyone that no one would question me managing to get myself killed." He stood up suddenly, Gwen still trying to realise what the boy had just actually said. Her brain finally catching up with her, she dropped the basket she had been holding, all thoughts of picking flowers being forgotten and she raced back to castle to find the Lady Morgana, who she would confide in, perhaps not all the details she had just overheard but enough for her to warn Arthur who could convince Merlin not leave, or if he could not convince him Arthur would simply be able to overpower Merlin and physically stop him from leaving the castle walls. She just hoped that she could get the message relied quickly enough before Merlin made to leave.


	2. Chapter 2

After Gwen had run back to castle, she knocked on her Lady's chambers door and sighed in relief when she heard the voice of her Lady through the wood.  
>"Enter." Gwen burst through the door as quick as she could, quickly closing it behind her.<br>"Gwen, what is troubling you? I can see something is wrong in your face." Said Morgana, Gwen took a breath before launching into the story of what she had found in the forest and what she had heard Merlin say.  
>"And so he is planning on leaving today, to give his life for his mother's" Said Gwen.<br>"Well I can now see why you were distressed." She stood up and Gwen at once went to her. "I shall head to Arthur's chambers and make him aware and maybe he can deter Merlin from this suicide mission."  
>"Mistress, there is one other thing you may need to know." Said Gwen as her mistress made for the door. "Merlin does not believe that we care for him, in fact he is convinced that the only reason he must cover his tracks is to protect Gaius, not to stop us following him as he does not believe that we will follow because he thinks that we do not care what happens to him."<br>"Well that is simply absurd, Arthur loves him, although he would not admit it, Gaius would be lost without him, he sees him as a son, and I feel deeply connected to Merlin and I hope he regards me as a friend and I do to him, and it is obvious you care deeply for him Gwen or you not be pushing so hard for his life to be saved." She curled her fingers round the handle on her chamber door.  
>"I shall do all that is in my power to stop him leaving even if I have to chase him down myself, but I cannot see it coming to that as soon as I inform Arthur he will put an end to the boys foolish errand."<br>"I shall wait here until your return my Lady." And with that Morgana left, walking towards Arthur's chambers.

Morgana had managed to tell Arthur the story, talk through the bits he did not understand and then left, bumping into Merlin himself in the corridor as she fled back to her own chambers, certain that Arthur would make the boy see sense and stop him in his ill-fated mission.

Merlin entered Arthur's chamber and made to start his duties, his mind not really in the room however but on the plans within his head.  
>"Merlin." Came the voice of Arthur from behind the boy, he turned to face the blond haired man.<br>"Yes Sire?" Asked Merlin.  
>"I have heard a rumour that you are planning a quest."<br>"Yes Sire I am and I shall be leaving as soon as I am finished here and I have been to see my mother."  
>"I have heard it is quite a dangerous quest."<br>"Yes Sire, that it will be, but the reward will out way the danger I assure you." Came Merlin's reply, he was starting to worry where Arthur was going with this, and how the prince knew of his plans.  
>"Yes so I have heard, the survival of your mother will be worth the danger. But I must question you on why you are doing this? It may save your mother you are correct but surely it is not worth it if all she is to be told when she awakes is that her only son got himself killed for her welfare, why not take a guard with you to assist you? Why not ask me to accompany you?"<br>"But the lives of the guard are valuable and you sire, I could not let myself put you in such a path of danger giving the greatness you are destined to have, I am merely a country boy who is a servant to yourself, surely it would make more sense for just me to die than someone of importance." Said Merlin, who was locked eyes with Arthur, who could see by Merlin expression that he firmly believed in what he was saying. Arthur could no longer hold his feeling in.  
>"Damn it Merlin! You are so much more than you think yourself to be! If you were to go missing, I would send search party after search party out searching for you, and I would not rest until I had found what had become of you. I would be in those parties, along with Morgana and Gwen, who would not suffer to not know what had happened to their friend. You have this insane notion that no one cares for you, but you could not be more wrong. Morgana has been here pleading with me to make you see sense Merlin, we care for you and it would put a great hole within the castle if you were to perish. How can you question that I care for you when I nearly died trying to save you when you were poisoned, when I followed you to your village to make sure you would stay safe?"<br>"Because you constantly cause myself to question it! You constantly tell me how much you do not care for me sire and so there is direct link as to why I believe these notions!"  
>"You cause me to question it also Merlin." Said Arthur in a smaller voice, he was not comfortable with telling his servant this, even if he did regard the servant as his best friend.<br>"Well never question it sire, I bargained my life for your wellbeing, it just seems that a force thought I was to be saved."  
>"You did what?" Asked Arthur in a smaller voice than before, his blue eyes staring into Merlin's darker ones.<br>"it does not matter now…" Merlin started to say but Arthur cut across him.  
>"Please do not tell me that you are the reason I woke up after the questing beast attacked me Merlin, please tell me it is not so."<br>"I was not the reason you awoke."  
>"Merlin, you cannot lie convincingly for anything can you? Why did you do that?"<br>"Because I could not bare to see Morgana hurt, your father in despair, you are destined for great things and you died because of me because I was there so I thought it only right to save you. That and although you may question it, I care deeply for you, it was also terribly hard on myself to take care of you when I knew I was the only one who could wake you. I could not bare to see you in pain sire and so I decided to stop your pain and save you the only way I knew how. I knew you did not care for me in the same way but that did not matter to me, all I wanted was you well."  
>"But Merlin I do care for you in the same fashion that you care for me, I have chased you down and helped save you that have lead to me to be in the path of danger more than once and yet I do not think twice about it Merlin, because you are my friend, you will also be seen in my eyes as my friend, in fact I regard you as my best friend if you must know. I trust you beyond anyone else Merlin. Looking at you now though I can see you still do not believe that."<br>"I think this may be one battle you may never win sire." Said Merlin, a small smile flickering onto his face.  
>"You are wrong there Merlin, I will convince you one day that my feelings I have confessed are true." Said Arthur power in his voice.<p>

Just as Merlin was about to retort, there was a knock at the door,  
>"Enter." Said Arthur and the door opened and Morgana stepped through followed by Gwen.<br>"Merlin, Gaius has left, his belongings are gone all but for a letter in his script addressed to you." Merlin turned to address Arthur but before he could the prince said  
>"You may leave Merlin." And with that Merlin ran, heading to toward Gaius's chambers and after reading the letter the man had written for him he saddled a horse and rode off towards the Isle of the blessed, covering his tracks as to where he was headed because somehow his magic had told him that Arthur was trying to follow him.<p>

**_So that's the end of that. The reaction to this story has been amazing, and I love you for reading this! Just to let you know though, I wrote on alternate ending…. Well sort of, that will be posted under another fiction, in the Arthur and Merlin tag, I am also working on another fiction for this fandom that I am hoping to have up soon, again that you all from reading ad reviewing and if you ever have any requests for thing that I can write I will be happy to do them for you._**  
><strong><em>Kmmi95 XXX<em>**


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